Let's get this out of the way: the first 10 seconds of your speech decide everything.

Not an exaggeration. Those opening moments are the difference between 150 people leaning in and 150 people reaching for their phones. Between the groom feeling proud he picked you and quietly wondering if he should've gone with his cousin. Between owning the room and spending four minutes trying to win it back.

We've been behind over 10,000 best man speeches. We've seen the standing ovations and we've seen the polite claps. The single biggest difference between those two outcomes? How the speech starts.

So let's fix yours.

What Everyone Does (And Why It Doesn’t Work)

You've heard this opening a hundred times:

“Hi everyone, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m [name], and I’ve been friends with [groom] for [number] years...”

It's not bad. It's not offensive. It's just boring. And boring is the worst thing your opening can be. That line is the speech equivalent of a default phone ringtone — technically functional, completely forgettable.

Here's the problem: when you start with your own introduction, you're doing exactly what the audience expects. Zero surprise, zero tension, zero reason to pay attention. You're also centering yourself instead of centering the reason everyone's actually there — the couple.

Good news? You don't need to be a comedian or a poet to open strong. You just need a framework. And we've got five of them, all battle-tested across thousands of real weddings.

5 Proven Opening Frameworks

Every one of these follows the same core principle: create a moment before you give context. Let the audience feel something — curiosity, laughter, surprise — before you explain who you are and why you're talking.

1

The Callback

Reference something that just happened during the ceremony. A line the officiant said, a moment during the vows, the groom ugly-crying in front of God and everyone. This instantly tells the room you're present, you're paying attention, and you're not just reading off a script you wrote three weeks ago.

It works because it creates a shared experience. Everyone just saw the same thing, so when you call it out, the whole room's with you from word one. It also signals confidence — you're improvising. Or at least it looks that way.

“So, after watching Jake openly weep through his own vows — which, by the way, was the third time I've seen him cry this year, and yes, the first two were during movies — I figured I should probably try to keep it together up here. No promises.”
2

The Honest Confession

Open with the truth. Not a prepared joke, not a rehearsed line — the actual honest feeling you have standing in front of all those people. This is disarming because vulnerability is the last thing anyone expects from a best man speech. People brace for awkward jokes. When you come in with something real, they relax.

Key move: keep it quick. You're not writing a therapy journal. One or two honest sentences, then pivot.

“I'll be honest with you. I've been dreading this moment for about six months. Not because I don't love Ryan — I do, annoyingly — but because I genuinely believed I'd be the worst person to stand up here and say something meaningful. Then I realized that's exactly why he picked me.”
3

The Quick Story

Start mid-action. No setup, no context, no “so there was this one time.” Drop the audience straight into a scene. You explain who you are later. The story comes first.

This is how good movies open. You don't get five minutes of backstory before the first scene — you get dropped into the action and the context fills in as you go. Same principle. It's the fastest way to grab attention because the human brain is wired to follow a story.

“It's 3 AM. I'm standing in a gas station parking lot in the middle of nowhere, New Mexico. And Danny — the man you all just watched get married — is trying to convince me we should keep driving because, and I'm quoting him here, 'sleep is optional when the desert sky looks like that.' That was 2019. And I'm standing here today because that's exactly the kind of person Danny is.”
4

The Bold Statement

Say something unexpected. Something that makes the audience pause, maybe even tense up a little. Then immediately reframe it. The gap between what they think you're saying and what you actually mean creates a burst of energy in the room. That energy is everything.

Fair warning: this one requires calibration. You're not trying to shock or offend. You're creating a two-second tension that resolves into a laugh or an “ahh.” The resolution matters more than the setup.

“Marriage, honestly, is a terrible idea. You're taking two completely different people with completely different habits, opinions, and Netflix queues, and telling them to figure it out forever. It's absurd. And it's the single most beautiful thing I've ever watched two people decide to do.”
5

The Toast Fake-Out

Walk up to the mic, raise your glass, and say something simple like “To the bride and groom.” The room starts to raise their glasses. Some people might even drink. Then pause, lower your glass, and hit 'em with “Okay, I do have a few more things to say first.”

Gets a laugh almost every single time. It works because you're breaking the format. Everyone has a mental script for how toasts work, and you just flipped it. The laughter resets the room and gives you a warm, relaxed audience for the rest of the speech.

[Raise glass confidently] “To Marcus and Sarah.” [Pause while people start to lift their glasses. Then lower yours.] “Actually, wait. You're not getting off that easy. I've been waiting 12 years to roast this man in front of everyone he loves. Sit tight.”

Picking the Right One for You

Here's the thing: there's no single “best” opening. The right one depends on you, the groom, and the vibe of the wedding. Quick guidelines:

One more thing: whichever framework you pick, keep your opening under 30 seconds. You're creating a moment, not telling a saga. Get in, hook them, then transition into the body of your speech.

The Biggest Mistake After the Opening

Great opening, bad transition. We see this constantly. Someone nails a killer first line and then immediately follows it with “So anyway, for those who don't know me, I'm the best man...” and the energy deflates like a sad balloon.

Once you've got the room, keep them. Transition directly into your first story or your first observation about the groom. Your name and relationship to the couple can come out naturally as the speech unfolds. Nobody's sitting there confused about who you are — you're literally standing next to the groom in a matching suit. They figured it out.

Put It Into Practice

Knowing the framework is step one. Actually writing the speech? That's the real work. If you want to do it yourself, our Speech Guide PDF walks you through the entire structure — opening to close — with fill-in-the-blank templates and real examples from speeches that crushed it.

If you'd rather skip the writing and just answer a few questions about the groom and your friendship, our AI Speech Builder generates a complete, personalized speech in about 10 minutes. Same framework, same structure behind 10K+ speeches — just without the blank-page anxiety.

Either way, stop overthinking it. You've got the frameworks. Now go write something that makes your best friend proud.