Google "best man speech length" and you'll get the same answer everywhere: 3-5 minutes. It's become gospel. But here's the thing — that generic advice is lazy, and it's probably wrong for you.

After working with 10K+ best men on their speeches, we've learned something important: the "right" length depends on factors nobody talks about. Let's fix that.

Why the 3-5 Minute Rule Exists

The 3-5 minute recommendation isn't wrong per se — it's just incomplete. It exists because:

All valid reasons. But none of them account for YOUR specific situation.

The Real Question: What Do You Have to Say?

Here's the truth nobody tells you: speech length should be determined by your content, not by an arbitrary timer.

We've seen incredible 2-minute speeches that had rooms in tears. We've seen 7-minute speeches that flew by because every word earned its place. And we've seen plenty of 4-minute speeches that felt like hostage situations because the guy was padding for time.

The BBM Rule

A speech should be exactly as long as it needs to be — and not one sentence longer.

How to Find YOUR Right Length

Instead of starting with "how long should this be?", start with what you actually want to say. Then edit ruthlessly.

Step 1: Write Everything

Get it all out. Every story, every joke, every heartfelt sentiment. Don't edit yet — just brain dump. You'll probably end up with way too much material. Good. That means you have options.

Step 2: Identify the Must-Haves

What's the ONE story that captures your friendship? What's the ONE thing you want to say to the bride? What's the ONE moment you need the groom to remember? Build around those.

Step 3: Read It Out Loud

Time yourself reading at a natural pace (with pauses for laughs). Most guys speak at about 130-150 words per minute. A 4-minute speech is roughly 500-600 words. If you're way over, you haven't edited enough.

Step 4: Apply the "Would I Miss It?" Test

Go through each section and ask: if I cut this, would the speech suffer? If the answer is "not really," cut it. Be brutal. Every sentence needs to earn its spot.

Pro Tip

Record yourself giving the speech. When you listen back, you'll immediately hear which parts drag and which parts land. Trust your gut — if it feels slow, it is.

Context Matters More Than You Think

Still not sure about length? Consider these factors:

Intimate wedding (under 75 guests) — You can go a bit longer. The room is more forgiving, people know you better, and the vibe is usually more relaxed. 5-6 minutes is fine if you've got the material.

Big wedding (200+ guests) — Keep it tight. Large crowds are harder to hold. The logistics are complex. Stick to 3-4 minutes and make every second count.

You're the only speech — Lucky you. You've got more runway. But don't abuse it. Just because you CAN go 7 minutes doesn't mean you should.

You're one of four speeches — Respect the lineup. 3-4 minutes max. The guests will thank you (even if they don't say it out loud).

The groom specifically asked for something short — Listen to him. He knows his crowd and his timeline. A punchy 2-minute speech that lands is better than a 5-minute speech that overstays its welcome.

The Sign You've Gone Too Long

Here's a brutal truth: if you have to ask "is this too long?", it probably is.

When a speech is the right length, it feels right. It builds, it peaks, and it ends before anyone's ready for it to end. That's the goal — leave them wanting more, not checking their watches.

The best compliment you can get after a speech isn't "that was so comprehensive" or "you covered everything." It's "that was perfect." And perfect usually means tighter than you think.

The Bottom Line

Forget the 3-5 minute rule. Instead, follow the BBM framework:

Your speech doesn't need to be a certain length. It needs to be the RIGHT length — for your content, your relationship, and your crowd. Find that, and the minutes will take care of themselves.