What to Say in a Best Man Speech: The Complete Guide

You know you need to give a speech. You know it should be funny, heartfelt, and not too long. But when you sit down to actually write the thing, you freeze. What are you supposed to actually SAY?

This is the most common question we get at Better Best Man. And it makes sense — there's no instruction manual for this. So here's the complete breakdown of what goes into a great best man speech, what to leave out, and how to structure it so it flows naturally.

The Three Parts of Every Great Speech

After analyzing 10K+ speeches, we've found that the best ones all follow the same basic structure. We call it the BBM 3-Step Framework:

• The Hook (30 seconds)

  Grab attention immediately. This is NOT "Hi, I'm [name], and I've known [groom] for X years." That's boring. Start with something that makes people look up from their phones — a funny observation, a bold statement, or a quick story that sets up what's coming.

• The Body (2-3 minutes)

  This is the meat of your speech. You'll share stories, talk about the groom, welcome the bride, and build toward an emotional peak. Most of the "what do I say?" questions live here — and we'll break it down in detail below.

• The Close (30 seconds)

  Land the plane. This is where you bring it all together with a toast that leaves people feeling something. Not a rambling wind-down — a decisive, memorable ending.

That's it. Three parts. Everything else is detail.

What to Include in the Body

The body of your speech should cover these elements — not necessarily in this order, but they should all be there:

1. How you know the groom

Keep this brief. One or two sentences max. "We met freshman year when we were randomly assigned as roommates" is enough. You're establishing credibility, not telling your life story.

2. A story that shows who he is

This is the core of your speech. Pick ONE story that reveals something about his character. Not a list of memories — a single, specific story that you can tell with detail. The best stories are:

• Specific (not "he's always been there for me" but "that one time he drove 4 hours at 2am when my car broke down")
• Revealing (shows loyalty, humor, heart — whatever quality you want to highlight)
• Appropriate (save the wild stories for the bachelor party)

3. Something about the bride

This is often overlooked, but it matters. You need to welcome her into the story. Talk about:

• When you first met her, or first heard about her
• How she changed him (for the better)
• What you appreciate about her specifically
• Why they work together

Avoid generic compliments. "She's beautiful and smart" describes every bride ever. What's SPECIFIC about her? What moment showed you she was the one for him?

4. What makes them work as a couple

This ties the groom and bride sections together. It's not about them individually — it's about THEM. What do they have together that neither had alone? How do they complement each other?

5. A pivot to the toast

Before you raise your glass, you need a transition. Something that signals "we're landing now." This is often where the heartfelt part lives — a wish for their future, a piece of advice, or a statement about what you hope for them.

What to Leave Out

Just as important as what to include is what to skip. Here's what doesn't belong:

Exes. Even vague references. Even "before he met [bride], he was... searching." Just don't.

Inside jokes that require explanation. If you have to say "you had to be there," cut it. If only 3 people in the room will get it, cut it.

Anything that embarrasses the bride. Light teasing of the groom is expected. Anything that makes the bride uncomfortable is a disaster.

Stories about how wasted you got together. We get it, you partied in college. Her grandma doesn't need details.

Lengthy thank-yous. You're not accepting an Oscar. A quick acknowledgment of the couple's families is fine. A 90-second gratitude tour is not.

Quotes you found online. "Love is patient, love is kind" has been used in 10,000 speeches already. If you didn't write it, skip it.

Putting It All Together

Here's a rough template showing how these pieces fit together:

Hook: [Attention-grabbing opening — funny observation, bold statement, or quick story setup]

Establish relationship: "I'm [name], and I've had the privilege of being [groom's] [friend/brother/etc.] for [X years]."

Story about groom: [Specific story that reveals his character — 60-90 seconds]

Transition to bride: "And then [bride] came along..."

About the bride: [When you met her, what you appreciate, specific observations — 30-45 seconds]

About them together: [What makes them work, a moment that showed you — 30 seconds]

Pivot to close: [Heartfelt wish, advice, or statement about their future]

Toast: "Please raise your glasses to [couple]. To love, laughter, and happily ever after."

That's the framework. Your job is to fill in the blanks with YOUR stories, YOUR observations, YOUR voice. The structure ensures it flows; the content makes it personal.

One More Thing: Sound Like Yourself

The biggest mistake we see isn't bad structure or inappropriate content — it's speeches that don't sound like the person giving them. If you're normally funny, be funny. If you're normally sincere, be sincere. If you're not a "heartfelt speech" guy, don't pretend to be one.

The best speeches feel like an elevated version of how you normally talk. Not a performance. Not a script. Just you, saying something that matters, to people who care.

That's what you should say.